When Timmayyy Is Dead Right: Manipulated Stocks Go Boom!

For the 3 most recently manipulated microcraps—CNOA (pumped by a CNBC “reporter” who mistook paid-for stock promotion for credible research, probly the result of majoring in theatre studies in college (seriously)), EDEN (agriculture product pumped by a TheStreet.com “journalist” who forgot to read the quarterly report mentioning they sold off that division!) and TIGR (I don’t wanna know the evil lurking behind that pump, possibly some SEC counter-intelligence subdivision trying to draw out fellow manipulators) I have been dead on. These are opportunities from which you can profit because I’m not talking about variables that indirectly affect stock prices (ie earnings, the economy)—no, these catalysts have a direct impact on the supply/demand of shares and consequently the stock price.

Since my expose when it was at $1.80ish, CNOA has dropped 30% in a few days—longs, don’t blame me or say “I don’t get it, it had all the trends going in its favor, I guess penny stocks really are just like gambling?!?!” Hello no, this kind of price action is the precise opposite of random, it’s motherf$#@en PennyStocking—learn to play the game or suffer the consequences!

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Why I Just Shorted Eden Bioscience Corp (EDEN): TheStreet.com’s Factually Inaccurate Pump And Dump!

As I mentioned in this post, this near 100% runup is entirely due to THIS laughable Thestreet.com article mentioning this failure of a company as a “below-the-radar company that produces Messenger, a highly effective and revolutionary agricultural product.”

I could easily rip the company apart for its $23,000 in revenue in their latest quarter down from $189,000 just a few quarters ago—wow, their product must be really great! Even funnier is their yearly results—revenue of $350k vs. $4 million a few years back. Or before this miraculous article, EDEN was a $3 million company that was forced to do a 1-3 reverse split just two months ago in order to stay listed on the Nasdaq

But I shorted 1,000 shares at $2.55–that’s all I could find, trust me, I wish I could borrow 50k–because I prefer to go to the heart of the matter, the fact that EDEN SOLD OFF THIS “REVOLUTIONARY” TECHNOLOGY AS IS DETAILED IN THEIR ANNUAL REPORT!

From that beautiful annual report, filed on March 28, 2008:

“On February 28, 2007, under the terms of the Asset Purchase Agreement, we sold our Harpin Protein Technology to PHC for $1,396,824 in cash, net of transaction costs incurred after January 1, 2007 totaling $103,176, a promissory note in the principal amount of $700,751 payable on December 31, 2007 and the assumption by PHC of certain of the liabilities relating to or arising out of our Harpin Protein Technology…”

That’s right, EDEN isn’t even in the home and garden business anymore, they’re just a licensee! Gotta quote some more of this fine work of literature  

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Did I Do That? Pump & Dump Exposes And Revolutionary Finance Websites

With my CNOA pump and dump expose last night and it’s 25% tankage today, I gotta wonder:

Possibly, probly, who knows…too bad I wasn’t short the stock myself—gotta learn to short sell these suckers BEFORE I chop ‘em to pieces, a la business models of Citron Research and Mark Cuban’s ShareSleuth.com

Nahhhhhhhh a.) it didn’t fit my pattern and b.) it’s more fun to write brutally truthful articles about stocks in which you have no positions, you do it just cuz it’s the right thing to do

I’ll tell you one thing I definitely did do right, that’s hiring and tirelessly working with Pallian to design the new site, which is looking redonkulous! I mean the guy is an Indian Picasso, he should be called Ghandcasso or Picandhi. To you lucky 50, advertisers and bloggers, the beta invites are being emailed out, so def. let me know what you think—what you like and don’t like, the site is for you—and for everyone else, you gotta wait til May 1st and settle for clicking the little thumbnail below:

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On CNOA, CNBC Aids And Abets Penny Stock Promoters

Let me start by saying I have no problem whatsoever with penny stock promotion—these tiny / failing / fraudulent companies need all the exposure / hype they can get or else they’ll never raise any capital and fail / be exposed as the frauds that they are soon rather than later. But I do take offense when entertainment outlets like CNBC try to pass themselves off as credible researchers. As I’ve posted HERE and HERE, their bumbling has hurt too many investors and they’ve helped make people afraid of penny stocks—which I cannot permit.

Now, one of their wannabe journalists / entertainers, Sri Jegarajah, has written the single most naïve penny stock article I’ve ever read, “Wild About Rice” in which Sri mistakes paid-for stock promotion for credible research forcing me to explain the rules of the game to all the poor schmucks who mistakenly view CNBC as a credible source.

Besides quoting CNOA’s CEO (we all know how useless that is, what’s he gonna admit the company’s a pump and dump scheme?), and a Seeking Alpha article—whose writers are no more qualified than bums begging for change on the street, Sri proudly quotes Source Advisors, forgetting (not realizing?) to mention they’ve been paid $25,000 “by a third party” (pump and dumper, cough, cough) to publish their BS report. And, as if to repent for his sins, Sri closes out the article quoting Patrick Murphy of Murphy Analytics who was only paid $1,000 for his efforts (scroll down to the bottom and be better than Sri, aka read the disclaimer).  

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Sykes’ Saturday Seven: April 12th, 2008 Edition

Stupid stupid teenage girls film assault on another teenage girl specifically to post video on Youtube, video’s gone viral, but they’re in jail…no joke…disgusting…

10 movie gadgets that have become reality

Forget website analytics, time to start analyzing your email, but only if you have Gmail (Gratzie PK)

Another successful—if not legendary—trader gives his rules for success (awww c’mon Todd, no banjos?)

Learn your history, venture capital history that is

Get the WSJ for free!

Inside the panic at E*Trade…you stupid stupid longs don’t even know how close to disaster many of these financial firms are coming

TIM Lesson: Never buy or short sell falling knives, much is happening behinds the scenes, none of it is predictable  

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Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild Pics, aka It Never Ends!

Forget about at least one of her $1 million offers, now it turns out all around “classy” girl AA Dupre has already filmed weeks worth of “classy” videos for Girls Gone Wild, owned by all around “classy” guy Joe Francis. Check out the pics below and try to guess which guy/guys paid nothing for what Spitzer paid with his career!

UPDATE: Now, we’re hearing Dupre was 17 when she filmed GGW so a blockbuster video looks to be out…for now. You know Dupre’s lawyers are gonna try and turn this around on Joe Francis–the twists and turns never end!

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TIM Lesson: Ashley Dupre Proves Hype Lasts Longer Than Expected

Now we can throw another celebrity into the Ashley Dupre mix: Charlie Sheen. THIS article inspired my good friend Fattie Mattie to craft this pic.

UPDATE: Apparently, Dupre also was close with legendary short seller Jim Chanos!! (says the trashy New York Post) Article is from yesterday, gotta do better gossip research, maybe I just don’t care anymore since there’s no stock with which to play!

I liked it so much, I gave it my website seal of approval—so all you starving artists out there, send me your work and I might also feature it, giving due credit of course.

PS Considering she’s a “high-class” call girl, my Spidey sense tells me the list of celebrity hook ups is just beginning. If you’re a celebrity, raise your hand if you have NOT had sex with Dupre, that line is probly shorter than those who have/will have…

PPS I notice less than 300 people have signed up for my FREE GIVEAWAY of my NO BS $300 Instructional DVD PennyStocking to be awarded to some luck soul at noon on Thursday, March 20. If that’s really all the interest out there, I’ve severely overestimated my market size! It’s 100% free, sign-up damnit!

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JPMorgan (JPM) Buying Bear Stearns (BSC) For $2 Per Share!

Forget $15 or $20. They’re only willing to pay $2 per share! Bear Stearns is now a penny stock . From this AP story

All I can say is wow, if the situation is really this bad, Lehman is done for, along with many other peddlers, too. This could get uglyyyyyyyyy

UPDATE: The Fed just cut 25 basis points, on a Sunday night!

UPDATE 2: Enough already, I’m posting what a dozen people emailed: THIS ARTICLE with Cramer saying “No! No! No! Bear Stearns is not in trouble. If anything, they’re more likely to be taken over. Don’t move your money from Bear.” The guy was wrong. He’s wrong more often than not. He’s in the entertainment business…like the WWE…he’s The Rock, his eyebrow trick is to act crazy. Welcome to reality. Those of you who trade/invest based on his pick, you deserve to lose. Think about it, would you listen to a stock pickgiven by The Rock? No, of course not!

UPDATE 3: Seen the video, Cramer’s talkin’ about Bear’s clients being safe, which he was right about, not the stock itself. Still, lots of envy out there, his haters will continue to have a field day with this…

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Why Bear Stearns And Every Other Brokerage Are Nothing More Than Scummy Peddlers

Normally I shy away from writing about all the “established” stocks out there, companies like Bear Stearns (NYSE: BSC), especially when they’re covered by the WWF of financial media—CNBC (c’mon guys have me back on, I’ve been working on my eyebrow trick!!!) but this Saturday article speculating BSC will get taken over at $15 or lower or facing bankruptcy really hits home. Not because I have stock—I’d never—or because I know a bunch of people who work there—I know just a few (sorry, my heart truly goes out to you!!)…

No, I bring this tragedy up for three reasons—1) considering the stock tanked from $90 to $30 in less than a month, a $15 takeover will kill those who “bought the dip” on Friday, aka why you should NEVER buy falling knife chart patterns, especially financial / mortgage plays, 2) no matter the final buyout price / bankruptcy, it shows how quickly these “rock solid institutions” can come crashing down, aka they are nothing more than scummy peddlers

and 3) since stockholders are the last to get paid, you gotta realize “investing in a company” is a figment of your imagination, you’re doing nothing more than getting a receipt saying you’ve spent a ton of money on something that isn’t real, aka why it’s so dangerous to “invest” and you should instead think of stocks as chips on a table in Vegas.

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