Hey, Randall Lane, You Sick Twisted Son Of A Bitch, Remember Me?

Photo Of Randall Lane By Chester Higgins Jr./The New York Times

Note: Aside from the last paragraph this post is written following the journalistic style of Randall Lane—treating assumptions and circumstantial evidence as fact. It’s cruel, amateurish and immature—oh yes, I know—but that basically sums this guy up so in order to help him grow up, he must be given a taste of his own medicine.

To those who don’t care and just want stock picks—this is also a great lesson on how to pounce when your enemy is wounded, no different than the vultures who took out Bear or LTCM.

Last time Randall Lane, editor-in-chief of Traitor Monthly was in Page Six, he was attacking a small-time trader (me) because his magazine staff fumbled, disinviting me from their little party at the last minute after we’d been discussing my covering the event for MSN Money for days.

Clearly in the wrong, this balding bastard was forced to go on the offensive, charging my hedge fund’s losses were the result of my publicity hounding rather than bothering to research the matter like a responsible journalist might do (turning his nose up at the complimentary book I’d sent him weeks before that explained the situation in detail) and running his arrogant mouth off to the press, confident of favorable treatment due to his connected Forbes wife.

Now, just a few months later, the tables have turned as Lane himself was fired as publisher of the Player’s magazine by Lenny “Nails” Dykstra who called Randy boy out on what he’s becoming known for, trash talking when he doesn’t get his way: “If you want to fight, take me on. Don’t go behind my back and bad mouth me,” said Dykstra. “He thinks I’m going to buckle,” said Dykstra, referring to Doubledown President Randall Lane. “I don’t buckle - I go to war.”  

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Stock Puppets: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Cutting Through Industry BS

When I created this book-blog-DVD publishing business model that is BullShip Press, LLC, I figured I’d repeat my feat, become the top ranked / most popular guy on Covestor, show everyone exactly how to turn thousands into millions trading fantastically predictable penny stocks without using any leverage whatsoever, cut through all the industry corruption and ego, teach a few people and many former suckers how to profit from it, and piss a few others off by promoting my book An American Hedge Fund and instructional DVD PennyStocking in EVERY blog post (cuz they’re that important / helpful / necessary and help cut down too many questions / emails I get).

Everything’s been going well—and then, a few weeks ago, I discovered some bastard using a variation of my name, “timsykus1” on the animalistic Yahoo! message boards. I did some research and discovered the term for this kind of deceit is a “sock puppet”. I thought, okay, that was bound to happen, ignore it.

Flash forward to last night when I’m doing my nightly screen for potential pump and dumps and I come upon VRML, a miserably failing biotech in the same vein as its Paulie-from-the-movie-Rocky-like relatives REED, PSTI and VION, all of which were great to short sell into. And lo and behold, who do I see promoting this thing that belongs in a toilet—yup, “timsykus1” again, using my good name—at least to those who are blind in one eye—to pump this stock!  

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Plunging Home Sales: The Latest Example Of Why Technical Analysis Trumps Media Scumbags

Home sales are plunging, 13%+ annual drop, largest since 1970, it’s gonna be another depression, we’re all gonna die—blehhhhhh! Who cares? Yeah you heard me—let the flippers suffer/go bankrupt/in debt, that’s what they get for their utter disregard of historical research and for listening to big talkers like Donald Trump who love to un/knowingly risk disaster.

Traders and investors who rely on the one true thing in finance—the charts—know better; the biggest homebuilders stocks (LEN), (KBH), and (TOL) are all slightly higher since this “disastrous” news broke and their charts have been bottoming for weeks. The overall market is up big over the past two days and it’s not because the stock market is some random uber-mysterious thing.

It’s because as much as financial media circus loves talking panic—it helps ratings—all this bad news is already priced in. That’s the beautiful thing about the stock market, it doesn’t care about media scumbags and their ratings-hungry outlets, nor does it bother reading the attention-grabbing headlines—only expectations matter. That’s right kiddies, it’s not that complicated—you just have to be aware of all the industry BS–my telling you this probly means I’ll never get to bring female models on CNBC again :(, but sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the greater good.

Sure, expectations on individual stocks can be manipulated by the media and promoter scumbags, but not on macro issues—there’s just too many smart people who’ve learned how the game works. After all, the talking heads all put together ain’t worth more than a three-dollar bill because the market don’t give a damn about guesswork.

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ANALysts & Venture Capitalists Know S#@! About How SmallCap Stocks Trade

While I respect Andy Kessler for making a ton of $ back during the bubble and writing two superb books–Wall Street Meat and Running Money, this piece of s$#@ interview he gave on smallcaps really makes me mad. Not only does he believe it a foregone conclusion that investors should look for companies with emerging technologies, but he also refuses to name any names or give any kind of timeframe whatsoever for his theory.

To Andy and all other venture capitalists, do your thing with big companies, but don’t talk about smallcaps and microcaps—these companies ALL have cool technologies, but this isn’t 1999, most of these companies are gonna fail and their grim reality is reflected in their stock prices. While you have good intentions, interviews like this are what gets people investing / believing in these POS companies, inevitably losing $ and thinking this niche is random, which, if you focus on the proper variables—chart, volume, manipulation, message board hype etc—is clearly not the case. Dangerous dangerous dangerous, welcome to why media outlets are sooooo bad with smallcaps and microcaps–it’s a different world down here in the gutter, ain’t no place for WASPs!

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When Timmayyy Is Dead Right: Manipulated Stocks Go Boom!

For the 3 most recently manipulated microcraps—CNOA (pumped by a CNBC “reporter” who mistook paid-for stock promotion for credible research, probly the result of majoring in theatre studies in college (seriously)), EDEN (agriculture product pumped by a TheStreet.com “journalist” who forgot to read the quarterly report mentioning they sold off that division!) and TIGR (I don’t wanna know the evil lurking behind that pump, possibly some SEC counter-intelligence subdivision trying to draw out fellow manipulators) I have been dead on. These are opportunities from which you can profit because I’m not talking about variables that indirectly affect stock prices (ie earnings, the economy)—no, these catalysts have a direct impact on the supply/demand of shares and consequently the stock price.

Since my expose when it was at $1.80ish, CNOA has dropped 30% in a few days—longs, don’t blame me or say “I don’t get it, it had all the trends going in its favor, I guess penny stocks really are just like gambling?!?!” Hello no, this kind of price action is the precise opposite of random, it’s motherf$#@en PennyStocking—learn to play the game or suffer the consequences!

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On CNOA, CNBC Aids And Abets Penny Stock Promoters

Let me start by saying I have no problem whatsoever with penny stock promotion—these tiny / failing / fraudulent companies need all the exposure / hype they can get or else they’ll never raise any capital and fail / be exposed as the frauds that they are soon rather than later. But I do take offense when entertainment outlets like CNBC try to pass themselves off as credible researchers. As I’ve posted HERE and HERE, their bumbling has hurt too many investors and they’ve helped make people afraid of penny stocks—which I cannot permit.

Now, one of their wannabe journalists / entertainers, Sri Jegarajah, has written the single most naïve penny stock article I’ve ever read, “Wild About Rice” in which Sri mistakes paid-for stock promotion for credible research forcing me to explain the rules of the game to all the poor schmucks who mistakenly view CNBC as a credible source.

Besides quoting CNOA’s CEO (we all know how useless that is, what’s he gonna admit the company’s a pump and dump scheme?), and a Seeking Alpha article—whose writers are no more qualified than bums begging for change on the street, Sri proudly quotes Source Advisors, forgetting (not realizing?) to mention they’ve been paid $25,000 “by a third party” (pump and dumper, cough, cough) to publish their BS report. And, as if to repent for his sins, Sri closes out the article quoting Patrick Murphy of Murphy Analytics who was only paid $1,000 for his efforts (scroll down to the bottom and be better than Sri, aka read the disclaimer).  

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5 Penny Stock Trading Misconceptions

Thanks to my talent for self-promotion, I’ve been exposed to a crazy number of investors, traders and market theories. Here are a few misconceptions that keep popping up and are in desperate need of correcting:

1.You can’t short sell stocks under $5, you’re a liar and a fraud!

Ridiculous, of course you can! There’s no SEC rule against it, many crappy brokers just don’t allow it—hence their “crappy” title. If you want to learn PennyStocking, shorting low priced stocks is essential—that’s why I use Thinkorswim, I’m proud to do all my trading there—they rock!

2. Smallcap and microcap trading is a joke, if you want to prove yourself as a trader, trade large stocks, currencies or futures. Also, what kind of a trader is afraid to use leverage?

Thanks in no small part to the misguided, and ultimately harmful, teachings of yet another entertainment outlet masquerading as journalists, Traitor Monthly, many people think trading is about making the most, being the best and getting to the top the quickest. Screw that! Focus on long-term earning and learning—this isn’t a sport as your career doesn’t end when you’re 35-40 (it’s usually just beginning)—and look for high percentage profits wherever they might be. Yes, my niche will always be looked down upon cuz it’s unscalable and that’s just the way I like it.

All the smartest people ignore it so it’s an easier playing field—advantage me. I guess I’ll just have to console myself with annual profit potential of a few hundred thousand to a few million/year. Boo hoo.

And no, I’ll never use leverage—as these street peddlers are learning, yes, it can inflate profits, but it risks disaster. I’ll never advocate any strategy that risks disaster—short selling is risky enough as it is. Learn from the mistakes of the past—nothing is ever guaranteed…besides, if a strategy is worthwhile, the profits will be there and they’ll be hard earned and natural.  

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Revolt Of The Untalented Financial Writers!

Many of you are familiar with Seeking Alpha articles–mostly because SA’s founder David Jackson did a great job getting his content onto Yahoo! Finance–it ain’t due to the quality of work! It’s more because the financial media circus is all about more content.

Breaking news, earnings, scandals…bleh blah blah, all the most active stocks must be covered and dissected by boring-ass stuck-up finance freaks, all of whom put together are less entertaining than a block of wood all while they consistently underperform the major indexes aka people who should have no audience whatsoever and instead focus on learning how to beat the market and not being scum-sucking fee-earning marketers who take advantage of the general public’s lack of market understanding.

So, it’s rather funny to me–and it should be to you too–that many of these wannabes are revolting against SA, angry they’re not getting paid for their efforts.

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Hey SEC, Punish Stock Manipulators Like CNBC Not Small-Time Traders

There’ll come a time when the SEC will do away with absurdities like the pattern day trader rule in favor of holding accountable entertainment-masquerading-as-reality outfits (WWE, CNBC, WSJ etc.) and their pseudo-champions (The Rock, Cramer, Journalists, etc.) for the damage their charade causes…but it is not this day.

For now, you must learn to profit from the circus that is the financial media industry…case in point, the CNBC-caused morning spike in (AGEN). After a brief TV mention and naively optimistic online article, thousands of CNBC-faithful bought in, thinking the cancer news (on which the stock was only up 20% on the day beforehand, aka not big news) was big-time.

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