Sykes’ Saturday Seven: Watch Some Crazy Indians & Warren Buffett Screw Up

Berkshire Hathaway is gonna get taken apart next week as they missed on revenue estimates by $3 billion and took a $1.6 billion loss on derivatives—I like and respect Warren Buffett, but I do look forward to the pain this will cause his sissy value investor cult

This video is tailor made for the narrow-minded value investors out there—while this looks pretty crazy to us, it’s a multi-century tradition older than our entire egotistical culture:

Perruna’s got a cool stock screen  

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Sykes’ Saturday Seven: April 12th, 2008 Edition

Stupid stupid teenage girls film assault on another teenage girl specifically to post video on Youtube, video’s gone viral, but they’re in jail…no joke…disgusting…

10 movie gadgets that have become reality

Forget website analytics, time to start analyzing your email, but only if you have Gmail (Gratzie PK)

Another successful—if not legendary—trader gives his rules for success (awww c’mon Todd, no banjos?)

Learn your history, venture capital history that is

Get the WSJ for free!

Inside the panic at E*Trade…you stupid stupid longs don’t even know how close to disaster many of these financial firms are coming

TIM Lesson: Never buy or short sell falling knives, much is happening behinds the scenes, none of it is predictable  

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CNBC Has No Young Viewers, My Readers Are All Young, Hmmmmm

Catching up on some somewhat-useless headlines…while CNBC’s ratings were up 20% as whole, their numbers for everybody not getting social security were down 20%. Where did those viewers go…obviously not to Fox Biz–not with their 10k daily viewers…sorry guys…and probably not to BloombergTV–that channel works better than Nyquil aka should never be watched while operating heavy machinery.

My guess: those “young people” stopped caring about finance because IT BORES THEM!

Insiders don’t realize it–they need to star on a reality TV show–outsiders understand nothing! It’s okay in bull markets because at least viewers are making money, but when bear markets hit, then they’re just confused AND poor…not a good combo at all.  

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To All My Haters Out There, This One’s For You!

I don’t know what’s caused the recent surge in hate mail—beauties like:

“I lost any respect for the book you wrote after seeing your website….what a load of SHIT!!!!!!!”, “I read about your story and in 2 minutes I already know your scam” and “YOU SUCK. You aren’t an investment guru, you are a frick’in retard Cramer wannabe. Dip shit.”

Maybe it’s because I’ve treated AA Dupre more like an object than a person. (Uhhhhhh, she sells her body, doesn’t that make her comparable to merchandise?) Or that I enjoyed using her gossip—repeatedly—to exemplify the kind of bottom-dweller-spikes-briefly-before-fading-back-down-to-the-gutter stock chart patterns from which I profit? (Yah, many of you still don’t get that, maybe THESE slides from my PennyStocking DVD Package will help you there) Maybe it’s due to the fact that the gossip has led to over 100,000 website visitors in the past 8 days and some nice DVD sales from people who never thought about comparing gossip to pump and dumps (I know it’s my specialty, but is this really not obvious?)

But more likely its due to the fact that now after 4.5 months since inception, my mistake-riddled (but always detailed) little TIM portfolio is up nearly 35%, making me #1 by a mile on investor ranking website Covestor!

Oh yeah, I know, it’s pretty small-time, compared to the big bad world of hedge funds, but you forget that I’m trading microcraps, smallcraps and penny stocks. According to acceptable financial practice, I should’ve lost everything by now, right? (Like the people who buy into these stock turds, the financial community is lacking in researching ability (maybe that’s why many of you are Wall Street analysts ) (snap!) and forget that my approach is actually somewhat conservative: never use leverage and to short sell them, or when buying never to trust them as if their ticker was BSC! How dare I try to take these wretched little creatures mainstream? Who am I to think they are right for average investors?

Well, I’ll tell you exactly who I am—I am one of those average investors. Read back through my 500 blog posts and you’ll see I’m nothing special. Just a guy with a big mouth who’s sick of everyone ridiculing the only sector that’s ever provided consistent profits! Now, as I’m always sayin’, it’s time for little Timmayyy to cut through the BS…So to you ignorant haters, I say watch this clip:

And please be sure to keep it up because you only encourage me to work harder! I know you won’t research—c’mon, no time with all your resume sending and all night coke sessions, no worries, be yourselves and have fun, but if you think I only got lucky in the dot com boom, you’re wrong! If you think I’m trying to cheat people out their money, you’re wrong! If you think I’m ever gonna give up or not answer any and all questions tossed my way, you’re wrong! You think smaller investors don’t need help from somebody like me, you’re sooooooo wrong!I keep forgetting that thanks to the efforts of all the other “gurus” in the financial education market, you people have become scared little doggies. Like abused little doggies, it’s gonna take you a while to trust people again. Especially considering the detestable beings on Wall Street— money-hungry gurus and corporate drones alike—can hardly be described as human. I keep forgetting how abused you doggies have been. My bad. PS You can now follow me on Twitter, haters preferred!

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Sykes’ Saturday Seventeen: March 8th, 2008 Edition

Why some bloggers, especially those who are billionaires, hold back

I now have a fan club, join so you can stay on top of all the upcoming goodness!

Even though I despise market guessing games, since I nailed this market back on January 4th, I gotta show it off

Finance bloggers/website operators, sign up to TIMlinks, it’s free!

Wanna bid $40k to meet I-need-a-script-and-a-director-or-else-you’ll-discover-how-awkward-I-am-on-camera Scarlett Johnansson (watch the video on the link to see what I mean)

No idea how I found him, but this guy is pretty funny:  

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No Trades But A Fun Financial Video Montage!

No trades the past two days—all my potential PennyStocking plays—COIN, SWC, CPST and STEN—have let me down in some way. COIN, I want a bigtime breakout, but it’s just messy breakout after messy little breakout, up a hardfought $2 over several days (although its continued strength on decreasing volume signals a potential Supernova pattern), SWC takes out $20 every morning but then bounces (until one time it won’t), CPST is up only 15 cents on a perfect breakout AND contract news and STEN, which I hoped to spike big in order to short into the absurdity, did to $6, but I couldn’t find shares to short! (now at $4, it’s tough to watch a $2 drop from the sidelines).

And then there’s the spam stocks like SOIGF, whose positive news helped it breakout into the close yesterday, but remembering how I made tens of thousands of dollars on it last time—by shorting into their seemingly endless spam promotions—I hesitated buying and have now missed out. The stock gapped nearly 20 cents to $1.40, now at $1.80! Damn stupid TIM, gotta get more comfortable buying spam stocks like this on strength. (Another spammer, MXFD, could soon be a good short)

This game might be hella fun and profitable, but the obstacles are many. Lots of plays come close to perfection, but unless all—and I do mean all—the variables are aligned, high-percentage, low-risk profits you shall not have. The lack of liquidity, shortable shares, difficulty in getting comfortable trading spam plays and truly perfect chart patterns are why pro traders stay away form this niche. The good news is that when the time is right, there’s really not much competition, other than naïve suckers and hype-hype-hyping stock promoters (chill out guys, website traffic and product sales are waaaay up, I’m well on my way to popularizing this stuff, we’ll get you your increased liquidity, please, please just gimme some more plays so we can really break into the bigtime!)

For now, I console myself with this financial video montage:  

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