Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category
The Pump And Dump Blues: Nothing Compares 2 U, In Loving Memory Of Cannon Exploration Inc (CNEX)
I’m sorry to have to announce the passing of Cannon Exploration Inc. (CNEX), a beautiful and vivacious pump and dump, who at the height of her popularity, was taken from us prematurely, like so many of our brave soldiers around the world
Beautiful CNEX, I know that living with you was sometimes hard, but I composed this wholly original song and even made a music video (even though the singer got the words wrong) in your honor.
It’s been seven hours and five dollars
Since you took your pump away
I research every hour and wait all day
Since you took your pump away
Since you been gone I can write about whatever I want
I can trade any stock I choose
I can look for stocks that are breaking out
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these pump and dump blues
`Cause no pump compares
No pump compares to you
Thank The SEC For Once: Wall Street Warriors Open Casting Call
Most reality shows gets tens to hundreds of thousands of applicants so the chances of actually getting picked are like the chances of me kissing and making up with the SEC aka slim to none. But not so in the joke that is the finance industry.
Thanks to absurd, blatantly anti-American regulations (SEC take a bow) limiting freedom of speech, freedom of the press and basically everything to which we Americans take for granted, firms and industry insiders won’t allow video cameras—and even more dangerous a possible international audience—to view such XXX-rated evils like stock trading and brokers baiting and switching! Money-making is simply too scandalous to ever be allowed to go mainstream, the public just wouldn’t be able to handle it, right?
This is why our children, influenced by TV/society, ignore finance/using their brains in favor of more animalistic/primitive pursuits, trying to perfect their voices (American Idol), muscles (ARod or American Gladiator) or looks (America’s Next Top Model) to get rich and famous.
Pathetic.
Luckily, if you don’t give a flying f$#@ about some imaginary line drawn by corrupt balding bastards (encore bow SEC…hmmm, they really like the ephors in the movie 300 aren’t they?) or if your firm is crappy/desperate enough to be willing to bend the rules, I give you THIS open Wall Street Warriors casting call. This Tuesday afternoon.
Hey, Randall Lane, You Sick Twisted Son Of A Bitch, Remember Me?
Photo Of Randall Lane By Chester Higgins Jr./The New York TimesNote: Aside from the last paragraph this post is written following the journalistic style of Randall Lane—treating assumptions and circumstantial evidence as fact. It’s cruel, amateurish and immature—oh yes, I know—but that basically sums this guy up so in order to help him grow up, he must be given a taste of his own medicine.
To those who don’t care and just want stock picks—this is also a great lesson on how to pounce when your enemy is wounded, no different than the vultures who took out Bear or LTCM.
Last time Randall Lane, editor-in-chief of Traitor Monthly was in Page Six, he was attacking a small-time trader (me) because his magazine staff fumbled, disinviting me from their little party at the last minute after we’d been discussing my covering the event for MSN Money for days.
Clearly in the wrong, this balding bastard was forced to go on the offensive, charging my hedge fund’s losses were the result of my publicity hounding rather than bothering to research the matter like a responsible journalist might do (turning his nose up at the complimentary book I’d sent him weeks before that explained the situation in detail) and running his arrogant mouth off to the press, confident of favorable treatment due to his connected Forbes wife.
Now, just a few months later, the tables have turned as Lane himself was fired as publisher of the Player’s magazine by Lenny “Nails” Dykstra who called Randy boy out on what he’s becoming known for, trash talking when he doesn’t get his way: “If you want to fight, take me on. Don’t go behind my back and bad mouth me,” said Dykstra. “He thinks I’m going to buckle,” said Dykstra, referring to Doubledown President Randall Lane. “I don’t buckle - I go to war.”
ANALysts & Venture Capitalists Know S#@! About How SmallCap Stocks Trade
While I respect Andy Kessler for making a ton of $ back during the bubble and writing two superb books–Wall Street Meat and Running Money, this piece of s$#@ interview he gave on smallcaps really makes me mad. Not only does he believe it a foregone conclusion that investors should look for companies with emerging technologies, but he also refuses to name any names or give any kind of timeframe whatsoever for his theory.
To Andy and all other venture capitalists, do your thing with big companies, but don’t talk about smallcaps and microcaps—these companies ALL have cool technologies, but this isn’t 1999, most of these companies are gonna fail and their grim reality is reflected in their stock prices. While you have good intentions, interviews like this are what gets people investing / believing in these POS companies, inevitably losing $ and thinking this niche is random, which, if you focus on the proper variables—chart, volume, manipulation, message board hype etc—is clearly not the case. Dangerous dangerous dangerous, welcome to why media outlets are sooooo bad with smallcaps and microcaps–it’s a different world down here in the gutter, ain’t no place for WASPs!
5 Penny Stock Trading Misconceptions
Thanks to my talent for self-promotion, I’ve been exposed to a crazy number of investors, traders and market theories. Here are a few misconceptions that keep popping up and are in desperate need of correcting:
1.You can’t short sell stocks under $5, you’re a liar and a fraud!
Ridiculous, of course you can! There’s no SEC rule against it, many crappy brokers just don’t allow it—hence their “crappy” title. If you want to learn PennyStocking, shorting low priced stocks is essential—that’s why I use Thinkorswim, I’m proud to do all my trading there—they rock!
2. Smallcap and microcap trading is a joke, if you want to prove yourself as a trader, trade large stocks, currencies or futures. Also, what kind of a trader is afraid to use leverage?
Thanks in no small part to the misguided, and ultimately harmful, teachings of yet another entertainment outlet masquerading as journalists, Traitor Monthly, many people think trading is about making the most, being the best and getting to the top the quickest. Screw that! Focus on long-term earning and learning—this isn’t a sport as your career doesn’t end when you’re 35-40 (it’s usually just beginning)—and look for high percentage profits wherever they might be. Yes, my niche will always be looked down upon cuz it’s unscalable and that’s just the way I like it.
All the smartest people ignore it so it’s an easier playing field—advantage me. I guess I’ll just have to console myself with annual profit potential of a few hundred thousand to a few million/year. Boo hoo.
And no, I’ll never use leverage—as these street peddlers are learning, yes, it can inflate profits, but it risks disaster. I’ll never advocate any strategy that risks disaster—short selling 
is risky enough as it is. Learn from the mistakes of the past—nothing is ever guaranteed…besides, if a strategy is worthwhile, the profits will be there and they’ll be hard earned and natural.
Revolt Of The Untalented Financial Writers!
Many of you are familiar with Seeking Alpha articles–mostly because SA’s founder David Jackson did a great job getting his content onto Yahoo! Finance–it ain’t due to the quality of work! It’s more because the financial media circus is all about more content.
Breaking news, earnings, scandals…bleh blah blah, all the most active stocks must be covered and dissected by boring-ass stuck-up finance freaks, all of whom put together are less entertaining than a block of wood all while they consistently underperform the major indexes aka people who should have no audience whatsoever and instead focus on learning how to beat the market and not being scum-sucking fee-earning marketers who take advantage of the general public’s lack of market understanding.
So, it’s rather funny to me–and it should be to you too–that many of these wannabes are revolting against SA, angry they’re not getting paid for their efforts.
CNBC Has No Young Viewers, My Readers Are All Young, Hmmmmm
Catching up on some somewhat-useless headlines…while CNBC’s ratings were up 20% as whole, their numbers for everybody not getting social security were down 20%. Where did those viewers go…obviously not to Fox Biz–not with their 10k daily viewers…sorry guys…and probably not to BloombergTV–that channel works better than Nyquil aka should never be watched while operating heavy machinery.
My guess: those “young people” stopped caring about finance because IT BORES THEM!
Insiders don’t realize it–they need to star on a reality TV show–outsiders understand nothing! It’s okay in bull markets because at least viewers are making money, but when bear markets hit, then they’re just confused AND poor…not a good combo at all.
TIM Rips On Timothy, Two Verrrrrry Different Brands
Just got one too many emails from weird weird weird people who mistakenly believe TIM is associated with The Timothy Plan. Let me set the record straight: hell no! Those guys give Timothy’s everywhere a bad name. Take one look at their mission statement and see that they’re total whack jobs:
The Timothy Plan® is a family of mutual funds offering individuals, like yourself, a biblical choice when it comes to investing. If you are concerned with the moral issues (abortion, pornography, anti-family entertainment, non-married lifestyles, alcohol, tobacco and gambling) that are destroying children and families you have come to the right place.
Their marketing materials probly should include pictures like this:
Unsurprisingly, Morningstar rates all their 14 funds one and two stars because they get graded on performance, not morality. And yet for all their inferiority, cult company assets are pretty decent—no doubt religion is a mighty find marketing device. (damn, if I only knew when I was trying to grow my hedge fund!)
I’m Hungover And I Don’t Care Who Knows It!
I’ve got nothing much to say right now and thanks to last night’s crazy Gawker-hosted party, I’ve got a pounding headache and I’m trying to watch the only 3 volatile low priced stocks at the moment—COIN, USU, YTBLA—but none are ideal…yet.
Also got a ton of chores to do. Uhhhhh. Screw it—I’m no use to anyone like this, I’m gonna go take a nap.
That’s the advantage of being a rich /self-employed and self-centered trader. I’ll be back with something witty/educational later today
The Joke That Is Financial Commentary: Some Frauds, Morons, Comedians and Marketers You Should Beware Of
As bad as corporate management, brokers, and value investors are, financial commentators and journalists are some of the scariest monsters out there. Similarly, they pretend to ALWAYS know what they’re talking about, while NEVER disclosing their audited track records or personal trades and investments…because the truth hurts–they suck. More often than not, they will lose you money if you listen to their advice. This picture is an accurate rendering of those who dishonor this industry:
This game is BS, we should want more–we deserve more–and my newfound goal in life is to right this wrong. Over the next few months, I’ll be adding many names to this list:
1. What kind of sick and twisted SOB buys the Adword phrase “Timothy Sykes” when they are no way shape or form affiliated with me WHATSOEVER. Scumbag and probable fraud Ross Jardine, that’s who. The schmuck links my name to a shady shady shady sales page—don’t buy into that BS. How is that even legal? Damn that really pisses me off!
No idea if his stuff works, but based on his manipulative advertising practices, the 1-page sales sheet featuring a stock he claims to have called that trades less than 500 shares/day (yes, five hundred shares), common sense and industry workings, I’m gonna bet he’s a fraud. He should probly be in prison. (Feel free to prove me wrong RJ, just setup a blog and let’s see your results day in, day out, c’mon, what are you chicken, balk balk balk, yeah that’s what I thought you scumbag)
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May 16, 200810 stocks to watch today
PDO already up $1.25, sux I'll be away all morning workin' on TIMtv, got 500 shares reserved to short if need be this afternoon
Also reserved 3,000 FORC and KYUS for potential shorts
May 15, 2008Yup, by next Monday, everything's gonna be real working-like!
May 15, 2008PDO, up $4+ today, will teach you not to randomly short strong penny stocks, get in, get out then run...cuz sometimes they squeeze stubborn shorts to death!
May 15, 2008No ideal short plays today, check out these 2 interviews while we wait for price action perfection
I wish I'd listened to my own rulebook, instead got squeezed for $400 shorting blatant-fraud KYUS too early...someone needs a refresher course this weekend!
I nailed NCOC's 20% rise today in my pre-market post, but I was too biased against buying little breakouts, learn from my mistakes!
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