Wake Up To This Christmas Present: An Interview With Bernard Madoff
Posted by Timothy Sykes on Thu 25th of Dec, 2008 09:00:47 AM
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Merry Christmas everyone! Here’s my present to you:
Moving on up the financial Jewish food chain waaaay up past Doug Kass is my interview with the man of the year (a unanimous choice, which is a historic first, as voted by the members of Fraudster Monthly–don’t try to look for the magazine because it’s actually a fraud itself so there’s only a subscription button and nothing more…genius!…maybe I should apply the same for HelpMeStopTrading.com, a site that you pay a monthly subscription fee and to get you to stop trading, I won’t send any alerts whtsoever! For those who do want to trade, there’s always TIMalerts.com), Mr. Bernard “I give all Jews and Bernards a bad name, aka the antihesis of Bernard Baruch” Madoff
1. What is your favorite Chanukah memory of years past?
Writing the holiday cards accompanying my multi-million dollar donations to charities I was ripping off…I was so proud of my scheme, I signed each one personally…tell me I’m not a genius, go on and try! You can’t, can you?
2. What is your favorite trade/investment of years past?
Uhhh hello, Bernard L. Madoff Investments Securities LLC!
3. What are your plans for chanukah this year?
I’m just going to spend time chilling at home, reading and clipping all the articles about me…very Lohan-esque…I’m a big fan of hers, do you think she’ll go out with me now that I’m so famous? Chicks like bad guys, right? Maybe I’ll start a band too to better my chances…I’ll call it “The Ponzis”
4. What is your stock market outlook for 2009?
Man, I don’t care about the markets anymore–that was so 1980– I just don’t want to go to prison next year!
5. Do you have a tip/lesson for investors/traders to follow in 2009?
Always trust fund managers, don’t require independent audits, and try to make as many connections at social gatherings like country clubs as possible. I’m gonna write a book called “How I pulled off the world’s greatest fraud” so just read that and you can pull one off too!
Did you guess what this “interview” is?
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