Why Value Investors Are Little Sissy Girls

Tags: Rants, Value Investors

This is a real conversation I (T) recently had with a value investor (VI) (who will remain nameless/ gutless) after he finished reading my book and the reason for this post’s title:

T: Happy New Year! get a chance to finish reading my book?
VI: Yes, I did, very entertaining, my wife enjoyed it too!

T: Great, whatcha think about my strategy, a little different than yours, right?
VI: Yes, and that’s why I’m sorry to say I cannot review your book

T: Uhhh, come again?
VI: The stocks you play are too volatile, there’s no way to properly value them.

T: Exactly, that’s why I love my charts so much, the businesses are complete crap.
VI: True, but you are playing a very risky game, and I do not approve.

T: Are you serious? Of course, it’s risky, but that’s why I made so much so quickly – sorry to rip on value, but you can’t make 5,000% within a few years. And, as you’ve read, all my losses come from when I ignored the charts. Live a little, take a walk on the wild side!
VI: Value investing is the only proper way to invest. Everything else is too random.

T: Tell me you’re kidding, I’ve traded thousands of stocks and they can all be reduced to a few dozen patterns; you’re saying it’s all random?
VI: I am not kidding, yes, it appears you do have some kind of talent as a trader, but it’s too indefinite so it’s not credible.

T: Wow, thanks for reminding me why I love trading/hate value investors.
VI: No academic data supports “trading”.

T: Yes, that’s because all the best traders work at billion dollar behemoths and none of them give a crap about academia and neither do I! What a snobby thing to say.
T: So, let me just get this straight, you and your wife liked my book, but you won’t review it because you don’t agree with my strategy?
VI: Yes, that’s correct.

T: Don’t you think you could just say that in your review?
VI: No, I don’t want to promote trading in any way.

T: Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?
VI: This conversation is over, good day.

Notice how polite this guy is – is it just me or are all value investors polite? My guess is it’s because they’re so nit-picky in their investments whereas traders, like our strategy, are more volatile and fly by the seat of your pants, aka fun.

So, value investors, listen up; you’re all a bunch of little sissy girls! You’ve become spoiled with the assets you manage, your mainstream credibility and the money you earn. I respect your strategy, but understand this:

I’m comin’ for you

I don’t want to manage your assets, I don’t want your credibility, but I will take the money you earn and I’ll succeed because your blatant narrow mindedness has left the door wide open for people like me who aren’t polite and who will annihilate the boring/ bigoted stigma associated with finance because of you.

Not understanding what I’m getting at? Stay turned the next few years are going to be hella fun…

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